Proud Pixies: Why Girls With Short Hair Are NOT Damaged

Some of you may have seen this absolutely asinine article posted on the Return of Kings blog already. Now, while I had not heard of this site before, the tagline “for masculine men” with an author commenting on “specialties in dating culture, social intelligence, and the state of masculinity” basically sums up the expected level of frat-tastic douchebaggery that shall follow.

In an article this week entitled “Girls With Short Hair are Damaged” the illiberal (and rather narcissistic) author claims that short hair is basically the biggest mistake a woman could ever make  because in so many words, it’s ugly. Period, no exceptions. When one claims only some can ‘pull off’ such a style, the blogger’s retort is that  “Just because you have enough left-over attractiveness to remain bangable after cutting off your hair doesn’t mean you wouldn’t look better with it back on”.  He’s a real prize, as you can see. The author further notes that not only do all women look worse with short hair, but that men universally hate short hair on women. (Because you know, the only reason us women have hair is for men to appreciate it.)

 

 

He further insinuated that those gentlemen who claim to like short crops are simply taking advantage of the fact that girls with short hair are apparently easy. I would say that is quite the generalization, but based off of his experiences with short haired girls, I can kind of see where the guy is coming from. I would, however, note his questionable judgement in women; it’s always a good sign to see a man more interested in the length of a woman’s hair than being concerned with them being ‘roommates with a prostitute’ or “harbor(ing) twisted rape fantasies”. But hey, to each his own. It sure sounds like he has his priorities right and is great at picking out these true ladies.

I think what pissed me off the most about the article though is the statement that “Short hair is a political statement”.  While I personally think that a woman can wear her hair any way she damn pleases, I can attest that for most women, it isn’t a matter of politics. I have a number of friends from all across the political spectrum who have kept their hair short for everything from those political statements, to climate, to their own personal style. That begin said, I did not have that same option as these women he claims are doing it to make a statement or bring attention to themselves. After having waist length hair for the majority of my life, I ended up having to buzz my head a few years back due to impending baldness per chemotherapy. I begrudgingly donated my ponytail and accepted the next three years of potential regrowth. I wasn’t making a political statement, and I sure as hell wasn’t doing it for more attention. I did at first associate short hair as something boys more frequently had (not your typical view of femininity if you must)–and thus dreaded having a pixie, and the entire growing out process. Though I received many compliments, I decided that short hair was just not my personal style, yet I fully embraced it while it lasted. Bows, headbands, over the top earrings. I made it work for me. Through the entire process of growing it out, I learned that femininity doesn’t come from the length of your hair, nor the myriad of other things you can potentially strap to your head as distractions from it. But rather it comes from how you carry yourself: how you want others to view you. I didn’t need two feet of hair to tell me that I was feminine, and nor should the rest of the world.

 

 

Despite the author’s assertions, not all of us women would “rather die” than cut our hair. I lost my hair so that I would live. Short hair did not make me more abrasive, masculine, deranged, or (especially) ‘easy’–it made me a stronger, more confident person, inside and out. The only perceived lack of self confidence I ever felt with short hair was due to assholes like him trying to tell me that I was any less feminine for rocking a hairstyle that doesn’t suit the cookie cutter gender roles that some men try to set our for society. While I am very far from your typical bra-burning feminist, the unbelievably sexist remarks made in the article made me realize that while women have come so far to overcome the 80 cents to a dollar and other societal inequalities, the unfortunate plight still exists, and is being solely perpetrated by these self-proclaimed “masculine men” spewing propaganda such as this to make women feel bad about a choice that should in fact make them more confident about themselves, their appearance, and their independence.

It’s true- some men don’t like short hair, and that’s something they choose. To be fair, I don’t really like men with long hair. But again, that’s also why I don’t date generally date them. I also don’t trash every single long-haired man on the internet, suggesting that his style means he is not ‘masculine enough’ by my standards. I was blessed enough to find someone during my short-hair time who did enjoy my pixie cut. To his dismay, I grew it out–but I grew it out for ME. Real men take a stand for women and their independent choices, not expect them to conform to society just to make the establishment happy.

Short hair is proof that I am far from damaged; it shows that I am a survivor. I am proud of my (former) pixie cut. And you, sir, are exactly what is wrong with society.

 

xo SA

crunchy granola hippie

I won’t claim to be the most organic, clean eating, chemical free, crunchy granola hippie out there but I gotta say, I am part of the club. I know there are a lot of buzzwords that float around about being eco-friendly, healthy, organic, pesticide and chemical free and while most of it just seems elitist and confusing, it actually may be something to pay attention to.

I won’t talk too much about food because let’s be real, that’s a huge topic and the whole system is riddled with chemicals, cancer inducing agents, things no one can pronounce, and tampered, poisoned, and contaminated ingredients that unless you want to pay an exuberant amount of money that none of us have or grow your own, is damn near impossible to avoid.

So instead, I am just going to highlight some cool products that have lately been putting some really cool stuff on their labels. It may be a small change but I am glad it is starting and more available than ever before. I am going to make sure I pay attention to it too…and I hope you do too!

The first product I have to say I am giving major props to is….

EOS: evolution of smooth. These little eggs are so adorable and totally badass. They are gluten-free, paraben-free, petrolatum- free, phthalate-free, and still taste delicious and make your lips so smooth and soft that no winter wind or cold sore will ever ruin!

They come in a variety of colors, are easy to care around, and totally affordable! (since they are available at nearly every drugstore and even 5 Below!)

 

I also reticently started shopping for a more of my beauty/hygiene products at natural/organic stores especially since I have jumped on the whole shampoo has seriously too many chemicals bandwagon, (I haven’t gone as far as stopped shampooing-oh yes, that’s a serious thing…look it up! Some people have gone years!) I still try to stay away with the ones that are a super loaded with all things I can’t pronounce. They can be pricier but you just have to be a smart shopper. Same goes for face cream which also freaks me out. I was going to pick up an e.l.f. moisturizing stick the other day because they concept and the price both were awesome but when I found out how much parabens were loaded into it, I just could not bring myself to reach in my pocket or bring that anywhere near my face! Instead I picked up a Dessert Essence Cream …look at this label:

 

Isn’t it awesome?!  Gluten Free, RENEWABLE SOURCES!!!!!! CRUELTY FREE!!!! and LOOK ALL THE CRAP IT DOESN’T HAVE!!!

 

My last highlight goes to LUNA bars. While they are a energy bar company and I am a mega fan, I am talking about their chap stick today. I am not sure if they actually sell them individually or if they just happen to come as samples in boxes every once in a while but I scored one at a conference called SHEsummit where they had a booth. This stick is a tinted lip gloss of Raspberry Shine and while I took it for granted at first, it is a coveted essential in my bag now. Not only is it a great hint of color bursting with moisture but it also does not contain a lot of crap!

 

So I am glad things are slowly changing and while sometimes I intentionally look for these labels, I am glad some of my trusted brands are incorporating  this into their mission without me even knowing! I love it! Will you read more labels now?

How important is this to you? Do you care it products have chemicals in them or are tested on animals? Does it matter where your everyday items come from? Or do you prefer not knowing because something is going to kills us all someday anyway?

Diamonds are Grandma’s Best Friend

Every time someone mentions urns, this is what I think of:

 

Am I the only one? I’m pretty sure Ben Stiller ruined the thought of ashes staying on display on the mantles of  relatives for many. I recently read this article on a creative new way to, I guess you could say utilize, a person’s remains. As in, bodily. Everyone has their own preference for what should be done with their body upon the day that they finally kick the bucket; some may see this process as religious or spiritual in nature, and others see it as a peaceful end into nothingness. I know over the years relatives have expressed their woes about it ‘just not being the same these days,’ trashing on the ever-so-loved millennials and their likelihood to go visit a cemetery to say hey to gramps after he’s passed on (for the record, I’ve visited so that I won’t be haunted by said threatening-and-now-deceased relatives). Nevertheless, for those who decide to be cremated, most situations I’ve heard of ashes are discretely let off in a nice locale, thrown to the wind by the next of kin. But what about those that don’t want to toss the ashes? What about those that want a familial reminder but not a headstone or a potential Meet The Parents reenactment?

You can now apparently turn your ashes into DIAMONDS

Hell yeah! You read that right! All the cousins are usually fighting over who gets granny’s engagement ring, but now one of you can be walking away with granny IN the ring!

Ok, so aside from this sounding slightly creepy, it really is a novel idea I think. I mean, first of all, apparently a person’s remains generate around a pound of ashes. One pound of ashes is enough for one sizable gem, but can also produce multiple, meaning more to go around for the family. It’s a nice permanent way to remember a loved one without real estate or much shelf space. Cost wise, it’s about the same as a service would be–and yes, funerals are a pricey ordeal, but you’re going to have to do something for end-of-life care regardless. Aside from the obvious pretty result, I think it is a more practical way of holding on to ‘ashes’. I highly doubt there would be a high market value for a diamond made of someone’s ashes, unless they were famous or such–but then again, wouldn’t the family still want to keep that for themselves as a token of their relative’s life like they would the actual ashes?

Nevertheless, while I presently have no children or grandchildren to speak of, I think I would much rather pass on a semiprecious stone with a little bit (or a lot bit, actually) of me in it for them as a keepsake, then a random plot of land with overgrown shrubbery in a city they may never visit.

Would you consider doing this with your ashes? Do you think its a passing trend or an alternative that future generations will seriously consider?

xo SA

Have fun tonight, all! xo

Sparkle.