Proud Pixies: Why Girls With Short Hair Are NOT Damaged

Some of you may have seen this absolutely asinine article posted on the Return of Kings blog already. Now, while I had not heard of this site before, the tagline “for masculine men” with an author commenting on “specialties in dating culture, social intelligence, and the state of masculinity” basically sums up the expected level of frat-tastic douchebaggery that shall follow.

In an article this week entitled “Girls With Short Hair are Damaged” the illiberal (and rather narcissistic) author claims that short hair is basically the biggest mistake a woman could ever make  because in so many words, it’s ugly. Period, no exceptions. When one claims only some can ‘pull off’ such a style, the blogger’s retort is that  “Just because you have enough left-over attractiveness to remain bangable after cutting off your hair doesn’t mean you wouldn’t look better with it back on”.  He’s a real prize, as you can see. The author further notes that not only do all women look worse with short hair, but that men universally hate short hair on women. (Because you know, the only reason us women have hair is for men to appreciate it.)

 

emma_watson_hairstyles

 

He further insinuated that those gentlemen who claim to like short crops are simply taking advantage of the fact that girls with short hair are apparently easy. I would say that is quite the generalization, but based off of his experiences with short haired girls, I can kind of see where the guy is coming from. I would, however, note his questionable judgement in women; it’s always a good sign to see a man more interested in the length of a woman’s hair than being concerned with them being ‘roommates with a prostitute’ or “harbor(ing) twisted rape fantasies”. But hey, to each his own. It sure sounds like he has his priorities right and is great at picking out these true ladies.

I think what pissed me off the most about the article though is the statement that “Short hair is a political statement”.  While I personally think that a woman can wear her hair any way she damn pleases, I can attest that for most women, it isn’t a matter of politics. I have a number of friends from all across the political spectrum who have kept their hair short for everything from those political statements, to climate, to their own personal style. That begin said, I did not have that same option as these women he claims are doing it to make a statement or bring attention to themselves. After having waist length hair for the majority of my life, I ended up having to buzz my head a few years back due to impending baldness per chemotherapy. I begrudgingly donated my ponytail and accepted the next three years of potential regrowth. I wasn’t making a political statement, and I sure as hell wasn’t doing it for more attention. I did at first associate short hair as something boys more frequently had (not your typical view of femininity if you must)–and thus dreaded having a pixie, and the entire growing out process. Though I received many compliments, I decided that short hair was just not my personal style, yet I fully embraced it while it lasted. Bows, headbands, over the top earrings. I made it work for me. Through the entire process of growing it out, I learned that femininity doesn’t come from the length of your hair, nor the myriad of other things you can potentially strap to your head as distractions from it. But rather it comes from how you carry yourself: how you want others to view you. I didn’t need two feet of hair to tell me that I was feminine, and nor should the rest of the world.

 

Best-celebrity-pixie-cuts

 

Despite the author’s assertions, not all of us women would “rather die” than cut our hair. I lost my hair so that I would live. Short hair did not make me more abrasive, masculine, deranged, or (especially) ‘easy’–it made me a stronger, more confident person, inside and out. The only perceived lack of self confidence I ever felt with short hair was due to assholes like him trying to tell me that I was any less feminine for rocking a hairstyle that doesn’t suit the cookie cutter gender roles that some men try to set our for society. While I am very far from your typical bra-burning feminist, the unbelievably sexist remarks made in the article made me realize that while women have come so far to overcome the 80 cents to a dollar and other societal inequalities, the unfortunate plight still exists, and is being solely perpetrated by these self-proclaimed “masculine men” spewing propaganda such as this to make women feel bad about a choice that should in fact make them more confident about themselves, their appearance, and their independence.

It’s true- some men don’t like short hair, and that’s something they choose. To be fair, I don’t really like men with long hair. But again, that’s also why I don’t date generally date them. I also don’t trash every single long-haired man on the internet, suggesting that his style means he is not ‘masculine enough’ by my standards. I was blessed enough to find someone during my short-hair time who did enjoy my pixie cut. To his dismay, I grew it out–but I grew it out for ME. Real men take a stand for women and their independent choices, not expect them to conform to society just to make the establishment happy.

Short hair is proof that I am far from damaged; it shows that I am a survivor. I am proud of my (former) pixie cut. And you, sir, are exactly what is wrong with society.

 

xo SA

Fashion Forward?

So I saw this on Buzzfeed today. Some of it is pretty awesome and some, well at least technology is cool and hopefully it will evolve to be really awesome…. Till then, enjoy! Let me know what you think!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/donnad/science-fiction-fashions-that-are-now-reality?s=mobile

How tradition has lost its fashion.

I live in a tiny town with many older people. We have weekly farmers’ markets, summer drive in movies in the park, concerts on Main Street, craft festivals, county fairs, and all sorts of other cutesy activities throughout the year. I love being a part of the community and attending all the events but even more so, I love the people I meet when I am there.

I rarely find company to attend these amazing activities with me, mostly because there aren’t many young adults my age I know, but it serves me well because it gives me a chance to talk to people and make new friends. I particularly like talking to the older folk because they have the best stories to tell and really are just looking for someone to listen to them.

This past weekend I ran into an amazing couple that I will always remember. We had our annual arts and crafts fair on Main Street. With nearly 200 vendors selling anything and everything, it is the one of the best community events of the season. There were the usual trinkets and fair memorabilia along with the local business booths but there were also come very cool specialty tents too. After stopping at the honey bee keepers block and donating some money to the veterans, I walked into a small tent with a sorts of wooden ships, metal airplane models, and whittled cars. They were all model replicas of WWII transportation and they were hand crafted with such elegance and skill it was hard to not become enveloped in the artistry. With my nose stuck in a model of 1947 Cadillac carved out of wood, the cutest old lady in a pink garden hat came over to ask me if I needed any help. That was it, the start of a beautiful friendship.

The lady and I discussed everything from traveling to politics, WWII to her daughter. She told me how her half deaf husband  fought in the war, how her brother, son,  and husband made all the artifacts for the tent, and how she even spent $125 on renting the booth for the fair yesterday but only made $3 hoping to make some more today. She told me how she donates all her winter stuff to those who need it more than her and how her husband wanted to march with his fellow veterans when the government shut down the memorials, how the shutdown was stupid, and how traveling around the US can be a “pain in the ass” (her words exactly). She really was an amazing lady and in the twenty minutes I spent with, I felt I had known her for years, like she was my own great aunt or grandmother. Even her interaction with her half deaf husband who sat playing with a ball was probably the cutest most affectionate argument I had every witnessed. After all these years, even with each of their tendencies, they were chugging a long, together.

Standing there, I couldn’t help but feel sad though. Looking around there were endless rows of kitschy unoriginal crafts thronged by people who simply were missing the beauty of what was right in front of them. People walked by without even taking a glance at the craftsmanship, detailing, or horribly under priced labels on any of the items on display in the tent. I was appalled. While they spent $35 on bedazzled scantily clad shirts, no one seemed to notice the impeccably sculpted boats and 1950 model cars and planes priced for a mere $10! Aren’t the holidays around the corner as the media keeps pushing down our throats? Wouldn’t it be grand to give your grandson something he can keep forever made from a WWII veteran instead of that $20 pipe bow and arrow he probably will play with once before leaving to do the dog? My friend explained that they only reason they still traveled and even rented the tent was to have something to do, get out of the house and keep them going, it wasn’t as much about making money but something about it still broke my heart. I wanted to run down the streets and yell “LOOK! LOOK WHAT YOUR MISSING!!! I AM TAKING IT ALL HOME SINCE YOU WON’T!” (unfortunately, with a broken ankle, there would be no running anywhere). Instead I bought a $3 boat, thanked my friend and promised to be back as I headed down the street.

Maybe I’ll get a chance to see them again, maybe I won’t but I’ll always remember them and be thankful for the few moments I got to connect with an exceptional couple. I will always keep my eye out for the hard working artists, being one myself, and hope that originality and artistry don’t die out.

And if they do, at least I will always have my $3 boat:

20131030-145619.jpgboat

“You can have whatever you want if you dress for it ”

I consider shopping a sport. For unknown reasons, many individuals in fact hate this concept, particularly when it comes to times that you have to look your best, or at the absolute least, professional. Even those of us who would consider a stroll down 5th Ave their perfect Saturday, however, can appreciate the benefit that comes from an expert opinion. Generally speaking, I trust my best friend to tell me if that the yellow dress I picked up makes me look like a jaundiced lemon who is 8-months pregnant, and that I should in fact put on the rack. However, that’s not to say that she is in fact an ‘expert’. She’s merely brutually honest (and we really appreciate it. Honestly.)
A true expert opinion can fill the gaps in your wardrobe, and maybe actually put to use that really cool flower-y shirt you bought two seasons ago but can’t figure out what it matches with. They can convince you that with the right accessories, you really CAN pull off that leather coat without looking like a biker, and that you were in fact wearing the wrong neckline with that jewelry you love. Simple switches and additions to basically tweak what you already have. Who doesn’t want a personal stylist, right?
Well, in theory, now everyone can get one. I’m a busy working gal, so when I saw an advert for the third stylist-in-a-box this week, I saw it as a sign from above. Think Birchbox meets Rent The Runway. You create an online profile of what you love and hate, along with what you look like, and then you get mailed a box of gorgeous designer clothes. You try them all on, keep what you love, mail back what doesn’t work, and ta-da! Brand new wardrobe. While the great part of this is that you only have to pay for what you end up keeping, let’s just say these stylists don’t pick items from the sale rack. I don’t doubt that you’ll always be looking super fabulous if you are a frequent user of the stylist-in-a-box method, however unless you’re raking in some serious dough, you may want to leave the style advice to your bestie.
Below are a few of the companies that I keep hearing about. Based off of their online samples, remind me to call them when I win big 🙂

tog_porter_top

togporter

cakestyle_top

cakestyle

And to keep the gents in your life looking dashing…

trunktop

Fall 2012

Have you ever used a stylist? Would you use a mail-away stylist such as those featured here?

xo SA